sometimes i feel failed actions are like failed acts on a stage.

you think and think again, on what is the best way, how to do, all those plans, and all those decisions. you feel you've thought well, your estimations are correct, and you are all prepared. your metrics are accurate, your will is intact, your hopes are high, and you work like a dog.

and then somehow you find that when the curtains have been raised, and the act has really begun, you find yourself lost - again. alone. confused. aimless.
standing in front of the audience , your estimations, your ends staring at you, waiting for you to get to the end of the act to meet the applause.

and then the questions arise - if you overestimated yourself, you thought you would not only perform, but out-perform, and here, you stand and stare numb. its wierd where the most statistical estimations crumble without a trace of work put in. how does the audience know what went into the preparations, or how much you labored, how much you worked, they just sit and stare, for them only the performance matters, not the sweat lost. and you stand, shamefaced, unable to deliver a line. it seems meaningless then, like you are in a spin, a web, a confusion so engulfing, that you question your own self, for there is none other to question.

and all you do is stare, and wonder, how???