Morning glory

in a way, I love my hurried mornings, and whoever says they're horrid, can go rot !

now its hard to imagine a morning and the getting-ready-for-work without -

struggling to wake up -
after the repeated sly looks at the table clock, and squeezing '5 more minutes'.....until you cannot fool yourself any longer, and get up, already knowing that it's once again late !
(this is where you are going over the sequence of all the activities which need to be done before you are finally done)
(this is also where you wish you weren't staying alone, so atleast another hopeful soul or even a faithful pet would have pulled you from the bed)
(this is also the only time you vouch not to fall to the temptations of the xtra '5 more minutes' the next day)

commotion -
and yes, even if you stay alone, there is enough. I shudder to think what happens in a working family !
(this is where there isn't anyone else to throw your work to, or shout at for crossing you, or hoping of a meal set for grabs)
(this is where you are doing zig-zag in your mind, yes, that' where the commotion is)

juggling multiple activities -
put the iron on, make the bed, in between, go put some music (before thinking multiple times if you can spare the precious seconds with the CD player), hit the bath, and suppress the desire to keep standing in the shower forever, make breakfast (after having struggled with the decision of what to eat - cereal, bananas, toast? Heck.....Just some milk please)......

choosing many dresses and promptly discarding them
in the total time crash scenarios, hunting for the wrinkle free wears
(this is where at times you hope the virtual roomie would mix-match some clothes for you)
(this is also where you wish for the nth time you could wear the easy jeans to office)

last minute mess ups/ goof ups/ worst case : absolute f*** ups -
oops, spilt it on my white shirt/ oh no, a perfume blot, now whatever next can I find in the last 2 minutes
(this is where time stands still, you curse your carelessness, and finally rush back to the cupboard to dig 'whatever' out)
(this is also where you look at your wrist watch like a zillion times over)
(this is also where you realize the 'eternal' time gap between 8:10 and 8:13)
(this is where you wish all other clocks were behind yours)
(this is where you scream - STOP thinking about the time for your own sake, and get that shirt on girl)

finally the lights switched off, a fleeting glance in the corridor mirror just as you rush out, fumble the keys, lock the door, check the lock, and turn around, and walk ahead !

the morning mess has been dealt with. Out walks the same 'calm' me each day. Everything else has been locked behind the door ! It's time to get some sunshine now !

ps - now, for all those who think this indicates an unorganised person............well I'd like to say, take life a bit easy, and get to some tasks on the spur, and sit back later, and amuse yourself with the delightful and ingenious way you get by the morning ! and leave the planning to other serious tasks ;

let each new morning be a new day in the earnest, and not a sequential simulated chain reaction !

i really want to change the way this page looks. off late it's appearing to me as if a lot of unnecessary color have been sprayed here and there.

i just want a blank white page.

but on this damn comp i am on, it'd take ages to even do that change, so this goes in the TBD lists !

Short lessons on change

read this somewhere -

Chapter 1.
I walk down a street and there's a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall
in. It takes forever to get out. It's my fault.

Chapter 2.
I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It still takes
a long time to get out. It's not my fault.

Chapter 3.
I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It's becoming
a habit. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter 4.
I walk down the same street and see the deep hole in the sidewalk. I
walk around it.

Chapter 5.
I walk down a different street.

i would say these 3 would hold up all that sums up each person's life

there are things in life one does /

other things one really wants to do, but doesn't get to do /

and still other things one doesn't want to do, but does.

Now even a person who's met me 2-3 times, may comment on my having gained/lost weight (in my case its always lost though)
or people may say 'oh u look familiar...have we met before'
or even a stranger couldd take a look and tell me 'oh, u got dark circles under your eyes girl, not sleeping, ill??'
or anyone at all cud tell me 'your clothes are nice', or 'gawd, whatever are u wearing'
or 'new hairstyle, ahaaa'
or, office pals would say, 'your working late, I notice'
and boss would say, 'u can still to do this extra bit, since I notice you’re almost done with......'
always, the friends notice 'I see , whyever the lousy mood'
or neighbor auntie says 'you've been on vacation I guess'
or even the unattached grocery chap says, 'I see you're not buying chips today'

and amidst all that people notice, in a few snaps that you have sent to a bunch of chums, and got the varied good/bad/ugly replies ; there's one reply that says -

I notice that u r not wearing your earrings in the snaps ,why ??

and I am left zapped.
at how little things in life, seemingly unimportant, open our eyes to see that there is always, one person, at any given time, any place, any situation, who always notices the one apparently insignificant thing that actually means a lot to you.

now only such a person could notice that I always wear only these said earrings , since forever. a meaningless note for anyone else but the one who knows. and it’s a question of as much concern as would be 'u don't look yourself today, hmmm et all........'

and this is what happened with me today. and I -
felt for a while disbelief that anyone could have noticed such a minority at all
felt I am yet eons behind when I feel 'oh, I know this, happens, all the time, u know.......'

for few things happen quite rare. and always in the unexpected rubble.
only this rubble fills the heart.

thank you dear friend, you made my day today.

clearing 'yawn-derr'

the bald (i shud say with a shaved head, by choice) guy sitting diagonally across, has just attacked a chocolate, and staring somewhere, but not the comp, so he's also not working, just like me.
lady across, and the lady next to her, are discussing and over-elaborating on the tuna sandwich one had for lunch....i mean this lady almost has the same tuna sandwich each day, how much can one tear it apart...but she can, that too with glad company in another woman.
now the bald guy got up to get drinks for all, suspect he's sleepy, so got a chance to walk around.
another peek, and another 3 ladies are chatting to glory, happily having made a 3-some group.....so they too aren't working.
to the left, another oldie chap is busy checking bbc for the latest football updates (can't make out more from this distance)..
ok the tuna sandwich discussion is suspended, atleast temporarily, as someone has come to speak to talk to the lady who ate the tuna sandwich. not to lose a moment, the other lady has further turned and now talking to another woman.
bald guy is back, with a glass of water for himself. why to carry a tray then? and now he's finally looking at the keyboard, and then the screen, now the keyboard....
the 3 ladies grp has dismissed themseleves, but only in position, they are back at their (neighbouring) desks , and chatting away to glory from there. like 'fort is held', now i can carry on. laughter, cackles.....
now male cackles, and laughter from 3 guys sitting just infront of me.
bald guy has popped a pen in this mouth.
guy sitting next to me just returned, following him is bald guy's gaze. there he just laughed, now turned back at his screen,
clearly not aiming to work.
poor tuna sandwish lady has been led in a technical discussion.
male talk n laughter from one end continues.....

meanwhile, i am feeling a little more awake after these peek-a-boos, so getting back to some technicality.