If life were a river, and i were wading through it, then my present state of mind makes me feel like i am just wading, no strokes from my end. I just seem to be floating in the waters, not fighting the currents, or taking any course. I just seem to be going where the wind directed waters are going. A sense of direction and purpose is missing for now, and i give myself hopes that its just a passing phase, and i shall find myself swimming with gut again. But deep down, not feeling very positive about this, not getting good vibes.
The waters came up from the mountains last year, and i joined someway along. i thought i'd go far from here, and beyond and end in an ocean somewhere and that would be the end. But these waters seem to be dropping me here, after having carried me for this long, and i am getting this feeling its all going to begin again. I will be left here, and more waters would come again from the mountains, and carry me again for a while, till when, i dunno.....
its all happening again, maybe it was designed to be that way, only i can't figure out what i should do. should i leave the banks and go home if they leave me? or should i wait for new waters?
is life 'living' the certainities/ or is it living 'life' in the uncertainities??
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4 comments:
bird ,
'certainly' a good read on 'uncertainity' .
what u wrote is about something which all of us shall experience/have exprncd at certain
phase in our lives, few have the courage or shud i say willingess to put it down in words.
when objectives arent clear , goals undefined and everything is hazy ,
why do i even look for a purpose in life ? why am i a even wading ?
even more disturbing is the thought that even if everything, was certain
, and clear ,i wouldnt be no where else but wading - in the same river ,
Thoughts arrive at the speed of light and disappear faster ,even befor
e u could think they came at all , then i have to generate thoughts
since those being generated by the unconscious are too radical to be
grabbed,understood ,assimilated by the conscious self .
thoughts that promise to clear the haze .
provide direction and more importantly 'satisfaction' : a chance for stroking and not just wading !
and momentarily we would stroke down the river chasing that
thought,travel some distance, love the thought so much ; and the break from the montony of just drifting ,that we want to keep generating such thoughts again . unable to do so - we are again wading , the satisfaction promised/provided by the previous effort might have been there or not , but its never ultimate , not eternal, everlasting . so we find ourselves wading again , till we sense another thought coming ,generating , generated ... another chance to happily stroke and not just wade , and wee keep wading ...waiting.. the only certain thing though is that you would have the river and the water , the mountains never run dry , water keeps coming , just like the thoughts ,so where does it end ?
in an ocean i guess.... where only the soul shall wade .
dear anonymous,
that was real nice, thx.
I agree that it probably all ends in an ocean, where only the soul shall wade....thats another life, a quest for eternity....a sense of no-purpose is not my fear, neither my worry. what troubles me(and a lot many others) is having lived a mundane life, i don't mind falling and hurting from the roller coaster, but i need it from time to time.
its just a quest to re-invent all ; it has days when you take a perfect dive and a record swim ; but most of the days you're just wading !!
rightly said. where you are from?
I am anonymous, yes I am!! not to shield myself from the responsibility of writing or visibility but I feel sometime things look better when you understand or know them less or you see them form a distance.
I wonder why people have pseudonym while writing… isnt that Anonymity?
like you bird...
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