ok. so you do things quite foolish. like stand on the tram stop for 25 minutes when it's pouring like mad. when you could be sitting warming your feet indoors on a [cozy] sunday. you did contemplate how intelligent would it be to step out in the wind & water. Reasoning resulted in turning a blind eye to mother nature. The trigger was weeks of a life confined to home-office-home run.

now the shoes are soaked. the umbrella's only a sham. all dogs are by the fire and all the cats are sleeping. i must say that it gives immense moral support to know there's a lad [without an umbrella] standing next, also waiting. It's very comforting. he's the only human company, well, not really in person, but in his presence. the roads are clean and wet and deserted. but for an occasional car.
for a few minutes, i get the pangs. what am i doing here ? but i know home wouldn't have been a home, but a cage, not now. so i pacify myself and wait for the tram which comes at it's usual time, but takes FOREVER to come.

there are lots of people on the tram. now this is fantastically re-assuring. i'm not the only one. and there are a few of them alone too. yay! the pangs are dying out. i am beginnning to watch the drops fall on the window. the ride is 20 minutes. there are men. women. no dogs today. good perfume. cheap perfume. mr 'grumpy' the conductor [he could be a sweetheart, but this is his visual impact]. a girl is sitting next [wasteful oservations - has a 4GB lue color iPod, listening to prodigy, white puma shoes, blond, samsung mobile, white unzipped bag, white trainer socks]*. she's on the right which is by the window. and i'm onto her left so the inevitable peek-a-boo. the window's full of mist now, can't see much, so now just look inside. nowhere in particular. uninterested glances. a bit alone. thinking if i should listen to music [and can't believe laziness reigns and i do not take out the player from my bag, but keep on contemplating this till the destination].

hit the destination.

action time. slow start. like a lazy warm up. but soon i am up & running. shopping. constantly reminding myself not to uy either of trackpants, socks or jackets. it's a daze. girls have too much put out for them in shops [NB majority is TRASH]. all glitz. like all that glitters is too much gold. boys have relatively less but ALL good stuff. for the 100th time, i wonder when they'll put some of those awesome tee-prints on girls tees. sheer sexism, this..

the place is rimming with human beings of all age groups, all shapes & sizes, all widths & lengths & diameters. joyful faces, and tired faces. people hogging. people laughing. babies crying. and babies sleeping. soon i don't even know if there were any pangs. all the color, all the splash. shopping progresses at a nice pace. i buy nice things. i eat a quick lunch. i get back to wait for the tram [4 hours 20 minutes have passed since i came]. the weather's cleared. mother nature is all smiles. the sky is as pretty as it can get. orange, yellow & golden clouds. a gentle breeze. this time's the iPod's out and so what more can i ask for. it's a happy wait. there is no hurry. no pangs. no rush. the tram comes in 15 minutes, and it seems to come too soon. i get on, get a seat. a window seat. clear glass. people are now invisible. and i look out of the window. music plays. home comes soon.

moods change. and the heart beats. life is beautiful. as always.

and this is how a gloomy rainy day becomes a very happy day.
and in the end, it's all that matters.
: )



*if she got kidnapped, this could be helpful i think